“But HOW?” she asked over chicken fingers and ranch. We had been discussing my most recent blog about the unraveling and what that meant in her life. What my dear friend desperately wanted to know was “what will get me outta here?!?!” My answer was simple. “It’s a process.”
In my previous post, I defined what the unraveling looks like. But I’m going to attempt something I’ve never done up to this point in my writing. Over the next few weeks, I am going to walk you thru what that process really is. To be honest, I am writing this for her, but my heart is that a few more precious souls out there may find it useful.
Ground Zero. It’s the place where we realize everything has gone to crap. Nothing is working according to plan anymore. Literally every area of our lives feels like it is covered in poo. Every day, rain or shine, feels like walking thru mud wearing combat boots. And it’s SO. STINKIN’. HARD. But do not despise this place because it is this pain that forces us to stop and reevaluate the state of things.
The unraveling has begun. I am here as a fellow unraveler to tell you that it’s all gonna be ok; really, it is. It’s just gonna suck a lot before it gets better. Now that we’ve got that straight, there is only one thing left to do: the next right thing. Just put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing. Not sure what that is? Let me help a human out. The next right thing is to admit that life as we know it is unraveling. That may sound basic, but trust me, it’s critical. Find a person, a few friends or a group that is a SAFE place and spill it. Tell them your life has become unmanageable and you need someone to know you are not ok.
Romans 7:18 says “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is right but I cannot carry it out.”
This process is a guide to get us from here to there, but we cannot do it alone. After the cat is out of the bag, the next right thing is to ask for help. Support is key, and I don’t suggest you attempt to navigate these waters alone. But it’s also important that we understand the real help ultimately comes from the Big Guy upstairs. This is where we have to make a conscious decision to give Him the steering wheel. I’m not talking about walking the aisle at church. I’m talking about on your face, flat busted and disgusted, can’t-do-it-anymore letting it go. It sounds something like this:
“Lord, it’s me. No matter what I’ve done or not done in the past, I’m here now. And I need you. You’ve got to show up. I can’t do this anymore and I can’t get through this on my own. I’ve tried. I suck at it so I’m giving up. All my plans, my dreams, my fears, my hurts, habits and hangups. Please come and have your way. I am choosing to trust you each day, no matter how I feel. Amen.”
Now, breathe. Just breathe. It will all work out one day at a time. Trust me. Until then, all you have to do is the next right thing.