Listen up. I'm a hot mess. I am extremely broken, extremely human and extremely honest about it all. This is the perfect combo to rub some people the wrong way. I totally get it. I get on my own nerves some days. A big part of my journey has been learning who I am, warts and all, and getting comfortable with me. It took a lot of the pressure off when I realized I didn’t have to pretend anymore to be something or someone I'm not. One of the biggest keys to freedom I have found is this: own your crazy.
Own it, sister. We've all got it. The fears, the insecurity, list of things we wish were different. We all want to present our best self to the world. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that. But when our crazy slips out for the world to see, we tend to rush over, cover it up and call it a "temporary lack of concentration." We have a tendency to dismiss it as something that is not truly a part of us. Hiding the unbeautiful parts of us makes us feel better and gives us one less reason for others to reject us.
But rejection from other people isn't really the issue. When we accept ourselves, faults and all, the opinions of others matter so much less. Rejection, at its core, comes from the belief that we are not enough. If we are not enough, then we must be what others want or need us to be so we can FEEL like we are enough. The problem with feelings is that they lie to us. All. Day. Long. Living our life based on how we feel makes for a pretty bumpy ride. We must acknowledge our feelers and then look to the deeper issue of what they are telling us. Feelings are indicators, not dictators as Christine Caine so aptly puts it.
Rejection is a part of life. It was for Jesus. He was rejected, and nailed to a tree. While He was hanging there, taking on the sins of all humanity, He was STILL being laughed at, spit on and ridiculed. I’m gonna guess you haven’t faced anything that severe in the rejection department. We cannot expect everyone to like us or get us. If everybody didn’t get Jesus, you don’t stand a chance. But just because rejection comes, sometimes from the people closest to us, it doesn’t mean we aren’t enough. It simply means they cannot receive what we have to offer at this time.
Maybe we are offering wisdom, guidance, or discernment. Maybe we are offering a buy one, get one free coupon at the car wash. Either way, someone’s ability or willingness to receive has very little to do with us. They’ve got their own brand of crazy going on. Most people are so wrapped up in themselves, they hardly notice us. But we women have an uncanny knack for taking what we perceive in an instant as their lack of interest and spinning it into a scandalous tale of rejection. We make up these elaborate stories in our heads and then we live as if they are gospel truth.
Stop it. Stop it or I will bury you alive in a box. (Thank you, Bob Newhart!) We are all a mess. Sisters, can we just agree to quit taking each other so seriously? If we quit expecting other humans to be more than they were created to be, we take so much pressure off of everyone. Other people are not our measuring stick and they are not our security blanket. They are simply companions for the journey.
Rejection happens. Maybe they are rejecting you because of their own made up stories in their head. Or maybe they just don’t like you. It’s ok as long as you like you. At this point, I doubt there is anything that anybody could tell me about myself that would be brand new information. Loud and a bit inappropriate? Yep. Very direct and straight to the point? Absolutely. A little too quick to jump conclusions? Sure. Awkward and incapable of small talk? YES! When someone wants to call out these things and use them against me, I just agree with them. "Yep, I know." They aren't wrong. I just don't need their approval to feel ok about myself. Own your crazy. Then pour yourself a big glass of awesome and move on. You got stuff to do.